change

Is something that will certainly take place in anyone, anytime, anywhere.

The Buddhist concept of Impermanence, Anicca. All component things are subject to change.

Normally people change for the better. When you see something not right, you know you need to do something about it. But, it doesn't mean that it will always take one change to get to the right side. Paths and journeys are subjective, you might or might not estimate every individual's effect to a certain change.

Taking the big step to change needs a lot of courage and effort, and it differs a lot to individuals. The resultant of the change also differs according to situations. it doesn't mean you try and you will get. How much is your try? "Try to change" and "will change" is miles far apart, that is also why there are two different terms for them!

So much so, I am also in a trial to change now. Mentally, spiritually. It is just how much effort I have put in so far that I am still here now, while someone else could be having a better life from his/her trial and effort. Courage and effort are essential for the before, during and after.

All the best, people.

the road to be taken

Year ends and year beginnings are often the times when the brain cells are fully (or at least, many times more) utilized. For reviewing, for planning.
Decision making has always been a tougher job for me. Monkey brain, lack of confidence, and of course, laze tumble over me.

It is a wonder how I was brave and 'insane' enough to make a decision that I have not imagined myself to conquer.
It is a determination that brought myself through the process of taking the challenge.
It is a relief that other people's support to me would make me stronger to face the music.

Why do I not face the challenges of life just as I hit the milestone of a half-marathon challenge?


And it's the year beginning again...

Running girl

Finally, I was discovered :D

That's the running pose that i hoped for. Happy panda running ^^

Thanks to the effort of a friend looking for me in the dark scenes ;)

APBIM 2012 - Half Marathon

Half a year ago, I was pondering over a better performance of 10km run or taking a challenge of half-marathon.

Two months later, I started training (slightly) for the Half Marathon. 

2 months ago, I had a regret of signing up for the greater challenge and deemed myself unfit for running. Training was tough, got myself stressed over, especially with my posture of running which was somewhat awkward even though I tried hard to change.

The final month. I was still worried if I could even finish the course. A flu caught me the need of resting and more worrying.

I thought, this would be my first and last half marathon, ever.

The day has eventually approached. Face the music. 

I had been a good girl to sleep before the race. Going to bed when people are just about to get dinner, and waking up when friends are about to go to sleep, being labelled Night Owl.

A Night Owl I was. How have I imagined myself to be up and running around in the middle of the night; and in the middle of the road!

There's the excitement! And it all began with...

A look of before-the-race me with eyes hardly able to stay open XD

The after-the-race me isn't available, unfortunately, as the only valuable thing I brought along was my PowerBar :P

And fortunately, I completed the race! Shall I say, I am thrilled to have performed better than I expected to do. 2:48 is not a best time, but an achievement for me :)

I don't get what a pose of victory is to bite the medal, but I did it anyway :P

Clear blue sky, I just love it. The weather was good for the run. 

With my dear sister who was down with cold and knee pain. You did well too :D

Half Marathon 21km

My certificate

Found a picture of my sister and I, few minutes after gunshot. The crowd was just... huge.

Seriously, didn't expect that the whole course is always crowded, and lots of zig-zags to take among those running and walking. Further more surprises met before, during and after the race; girls in skirts (yes, very flarry as well), people in disguise (snail, kungfu panda, etc). Led me to think, probably this is not tough after all, or I am just weak.

Two runners and two posers :P

Sadly I couldn't find a photo of me in the APBIM collection. :(

A great experience. training for the event was really tough, but I was glad to have done it, making the race an easier course for me. Unexpectedly faster (than expected 2 weeks time) recovery from the race, I have now a purple big toe, kinda restraining me from heavy sports.

Well pessimistic me, I thought I would never take part again... however, both my sis and I are missing the event! I guess, there would be a second time after all ;)

Looking forward to the new birdge run =)

15 Years

It's been so long since the last parting with a close relative, my grandfather. Then and now, somewhat similar, somewhat different.

Remember when grandpa's time come, I was looking at daddy on the phone, a long-distance call. A similar look during the day in hospital last week.

15 years back. In the mid of examination period, I was numb. Was only able to catch a flight back home 2 days after.
Glad I did see granny this time, before she took her last breathe. But how did I cry seeing her, and did she see me.

The family is different. With more young ones, without some cousins, without an aunt. With more further-related relatives around. With more people coming from around the peninsula from hours of driving journey. You are just amazing.

Numbed by the rituals, only did I really feel the lost once I get to think out of it. Pictures of her in the past, and recently. Stories and incidents. Life and death, how close or far is it?

Wonder if it is a relief for her, due to the suffering she goes through the past 3 years. Definitely a huge pity, for plans that were being carried out, no chance to be fulfilled.

For all the kindness when grandma was down until her final journey, from the related and less-related ones, So deeply appreciate. You will be remembered always by us, and by grandma.

Thank you.
Sadhu, sadhu, sadhu.

Parting

Mixed feelings. Half predicted that she will leave us soon. Just did not expect the process would be that rush, that fast.

Sometimes I thought I could feel her breathing. My illusion. Hoping for a miracle. Did not happen.

Love you, grandma.
Rest in peace.

of the book and the cover

When what's said and what's done are two issues. When you trust and need to distrust them. It hurts. When you know you are the one being deprioritized. Yet you still prioritize them somehow. When you find that you are totally abandoned by the world... When you know you've gotta make you own stand. But you realize you need to avoid being stepped on, or the the grounds being shaken. People. Sometimes I might have a phobia of knowing them too much. That it will affect the good relationship. That I will find it hard to face them. 日久见人心。

*peek*

Something triggered me. I'm back here. After more than a year. Weeeee~~~

Pantai Kerachut!

I'm finally blogging on this...

X Alien Attacked Pantai Kerachut!! XD



Upon reaching the destination by car with Pauline and CJ, we were welcomed by this peaceful pleasant scene of a fishing village. :)



Much anticipated one, and the trip turned out to be rather easy (oh how boastful :X ) as the trekking wasn't continuously steep. Only that the distance was rather long, at some places I kinda get bored of just walking.. LOL! It took us about 3 hours to and fro with the jungle trekking. And thankfully, non-leechy path. =)

One and a half hours and we finally reached! The meromictic lake is on the left, facing out the beach on the right.



Meromictic Lake



The infamous beach of Kerachut :)



There was a turtle hatchery with a turtle museum. We see some hatchlings... I call them 'turtlings'... in a huge tank. I wonder if they are females, coz they tend to swim towards our guys of the group! XD



An interesting fact of turtlings. The sex of the turtles cis determined by the temperature of the surrounding (sand) of the eggs! Amazing! If this could be done to humans, it might seem fun.. but it would bring to world humankind disaster!! X(

The jetty seemed just like any other...



But once we pose on it, the scenery was AMAZING!!



We met a father and two sons of Korean national who speaks English, who were looking for the way to Teluk Kampi, which is apparently another route tougher and out of Kerachut. Probably that could be our next destination? :)
Nice people they are. They thought we were high school students :D

Oh btw, we didn't forget Sheline =)



Surprising to me, I didn't fall asleep while driving back home from Farlim with the tired body. Next to anticipate the trip for Monkey Beach and the lighthouse!
YAY!! I LOVE NATURE! :D

A year older

My first birthday spent in Penang. Special indeed, spent with a new group of friends. Thousands of thanks to Pauline, Sheling and CJ for the 'surprise' cake!! =)





Having been craving for Korean cuisine, we finally settled off at Seoul Garden Restaurant near Gurney. Pretty fine it was, despite some comments on the kimchi that I came across. Can't compare since I haven't tried much of other cuisines (which I hope I will!). The manager was a Korean who can speak English and Japanese! I'm impressed :)







A great meal, a great day =)

BJ Hike!

And finally got a hiking trip! Though it’s just around my area, I thought I wouldn’t dare to climb it on my own. In fact it is a really easy one. Haha… how boastful.

Anyway, X Alien concurred Bukit Jambul!
And I want a bigger challenge ;)



Thanks to KV and Sheline for making my dull weekend brighter :P I salute you guys for talking all the way up and down.. LOL!

And great to have friends around to make life better xD

Had a nice swim in our Mickey Mouse shaped pool yesterday right before the grey clouds started crying, again. Dinner was a cold fillet-o-fish bought in the morning with the free breakfast :P

1 month

It’s exactly one month since I’m here in Penang. Yet the picture of my dad’s car leaving the condo is clear in mind. So abnormal… not seeing them for a month, and dad pooped into Jin’s webcam... haha! But soon will, I’m glad. 

Another weekend spent in A.S. and back in Penang.



Apparently the local government don't provide parking for tax payers and expect them to park at the roadside.


Team building. blur and more blur. >< What collaboration blablabla.. And how many elevators are there in Queensbay??

See the 'us' scattering around Queensbay.


Caught this magnificant scene after working out at basketball and gym.

Happy Birthday

My first Birthday in Penang!!
Happy Birthday to me! =)



생일 축하해요!! ^^

Transition

First week done.

First day a Friday and followd by a lonely weekend was terrifying. It is BAD to be left alone for a few days, especially the weekend, without anything to do.

Anyhow, I was glad I pulled through the first week. It was not too bad when I had jobs to do and less time to pity myself of being lonely. I still feel lonely though, but at least I can temporarily occupy myself with exercise and drama series :)


My place =)


A weekend that followed was a wekend spent well. Back in Kedah where there are relatives. And the nieces asking me the easiest way out to handle their exams with high scores. LOL. The easiest (and most practical) way is through hard work, ain't it?

And of course, a lot of eatings! I wasn't left a while hungry except during sleep time :P


Was wondering why this stall was out of current stock and so crowded... Coz it produces really nice kuihs! Even the green bean cakes, which normally taste hard and dry in other places, took my heart away! XD

Me Dragon

It's the rabbit year, and I am constructing a Dragon model :D

A piece of 'souvenir' I got during my trip to Sabah... That makes it almost 4 years old now when I finally had it in pieces~
Oh I dearly enjoyed it while watching drama series... hahaha~!!



And my little wooden dragon!



Then I found it abit too high to fit into my shelf >< Not that I can curl the feelers :P

Oh I love the relaxing feel! :D

Happy New Ear!

It feels like just last month that I stepped into the brewery. And it feels like just yesterday that I stepped out of the office. The four months that had passed so fast. The few lunches that seemed so many. The people whom I've known just a while ago.

Didn't know I would miss it, that I missed the people quite a bit.
I feel I still need to live and work around people of same gender. Haha!

And... It's a new lunar year now! Happy New Year! I should be very glad to have a loooooong holiday this time, most probably not expecting a long one in a long time. Yet for this long time, I have a lot to scan through my mind. Of now, of future. To go for the easy, to go for the tough; to meet my ambitious ambitions, to follow the common pathways.

Where can I go from here? Where would I end up? Thousands of questions and doubts flooding my mind like the Johor floods. I can't stop my mind from thinking too much.

If the brain can be separated, let me leave my worries in a corner and enjoy the festival now.

Happy New Year everyone. Happy New Ear! =)

Keeping the faith

Though it’s kinda surprising when Snowbell mentioned it, but I gotta say, I admit it too.

It’s been more than a year since the dispute. I guess I have gradually accepted it, or at least, part of me is.

My heart is still keeping the faith, hoping for the day when the five will come back together.
My mind is pretty happy with the progress of the trio, loving them more and more each day.
My soul is following which ever that trends currently. Haha.

It's XiahDay today. Happy Birthday to our Junsu boy!! Why is he getting cuter when he's getting older? ^^


Meanwhile keeping the faith in friendship, career, life.

Thanks for ignoring me / bypassing me / not giving a damn of me. Now I see who you are truly.

Though have realized the duplicity side of you, I have tried to think you as being humble.
Though have realized that you have been taking without giving, I have persuaded myself that you just forgot, unintentionally.

And now you are keeping all the good for yourself.

I should start changing my perception towards you.

冤

这就是我的势力。一番折腾后，只能躲在一旁独自哭泣。

活在人家的影子下，承受着那些可笑的大话，谎言。哭笑不得，更不得吭一声。

[Right, since they are so rarely here and significantly my first encounter, I too want a fan account posted :P]


JYJ Showcase Malaysia 2010.

Finally getting to see the boys LIVE!

The last time was seeing them from backstage during TVXQ’s 2nd Asia Tour, when after that I half-lived my life for them (LOL!).

Hoping to see them as a role of audience in the upcoming concert tour, we were disappointed when Malaysia was not included as a stop-over of the tour. Furthermore hopeless it became when the dispute arose between the threesome and their company.

However, our faith paid off well when the new group JYJ scheduled its showcase tour with Malaysia in the list! Things seem to get better as the date was confirmed and the venue was changed to a larger (and more imaginable) premise.


Got the new album of course! =)

Rushing to the venue and reaching just 1 hour before the scheduled time (free seating is a nuisance in this case), saw the queue for the seating area is not as crowded, surprisingly. However, the wait extended long til around 2.30 when two ladies fainted under the OMG SUN… No umbrellas, no water bottles, no food allowed inside, as the organizer was afraid we would throw things to the artist. And Jin was right, we’d rather throw ourselves to them.. LOL!

We happen to be seated with two fans from Japan.. Yes, The Bigeast! They had their Bigeast goodies displayed, which we were strangely excited over xD


Go Bigeast :P

It's Junsu-Jejung-Yuchun!! @@


So what’s the fuss when you get to see them almost anytime through Internet clips?

You’ll get it if you see them... the CHARISMA!! Can’t help giggling, thinking of them in within 100m radius of distance. Though was rather dissatisfied with the size of the stage, when they finally appeared...

OOOOMMMMGGGG!!! SCREAMMMMM!!! (Oh no, I wished for a bigger throat ><)

For a moment we just stared at them as they go with their moves… then continue to SCREAMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!

And the UNBELIEVEABLE feeling is still in me as it was when watching them just 86m away. They are in front of me, of us O.o

Junsu’s voice… *AWWW* Jae’s special moves…OOO… Micky’s charisma @@

Easy to notice, Jae was pretty ‘hot’… the weather added the sweats and reduced his clothes weight :P Situation was rather usual as the two speak Korean and Micky converses in English, and how the crowd would scrrreammm to the duo for popping up some English words ;)

But the translator was pretty annoying, kept walk around and had to be REQUESTED of her translating service (><) Nothing but a vase… The talk cut short is brought many angers of the Cassies indeed... though much possibility is the management's idea, the emcee wasn't communicating the boys to the audience well enough.



We were pretty surprised when the MC popped out the phrase “Before we go, anything to say to the fans?” after merely a 5 minutes talk! And so was Micky, who was shocked by the short time which I guess comparably to other showcases.

I salute the boys for giving their best in everything. Obviously they were exhausted from the tight schedule, but they performed to the very best. Personally enjoyed the Empty Remix the most! *JUMP JUMP JUMP JUMP JUMP JUMP JUMP JUMP!!*

The showcase was really short-lasting, that we couldn’t believe it was ended. Sitting staring at the stage and missed the scene of the boys leaving the stadium T.T

Couldn’t be stalking them at the press conference after that even though we knew the venue coz someone had to prepare for her exam… we had no transport anyway @@

The worst thing is to lose my glow-stick which slipped off under the seats. A sacrifice to my videos and photos collection…

The best thing, of course, embracing the hearts of Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu :)

And let's hope for the best next year... Always keeping the faith ^^