TERRIBLE!!!

So much so that I try to accept you as a normal person...
yet each time I do, I get VERY disappointed.

Can't believe how TERRIBLY SELFISH you are!! What is it about? Hiding the truth and only telling it when the harm has been done?? Do you EVER know how much it costs solely because YOU wana get YOUR things done???!!!

And yet you act so INNOCENT over it??!!! I AM terribly PISSED OFF by you!!!!!!

Each time I tell myself not to do the mistake again, each time I did it again.
The fact that I try to accept you.
So stupid of me...



there ARE reasons why people don't wanna get involved with you...

talk

Somehow I find it hard to just talk now. Or maybe I'm just in one of the strange modes again these days.
I might be arrogant, I might be stubborn or ignorant. Soehow whatever I do or say is just disagreed or disapproved upon by those who are claimed to be much higher leveled.
Yes, I might be wrong sometimes (or everytime). But do I have the chance to speak up and explain my reason for that?
This is the true nature of the society, that I have to accept. Just so fed up and helpless over it...
As well, I wouldn't wana make people give what they are unwilling to.

Sometimes, and many a times, I really envy with the sight of giggling and chatting away. It makes me think, how long ago have I really talked?
I just wish I had someone to talk to.
A nice long talk.


I am alone in the middle of no where.

Tribute

The least expected that appeared on my screen after the lab session. That Micheal Jackson has passed away. Though not exactly a fan, I can't be not influenced by his talent and by his hufe influence aroudn the world. A talent, a superstar that we have lost.
And then there are those thousands of tributes paid to him upon his death.
Tributes? Which might come just too late. Which are only done at just this time.
What has he been treated as years when he was still alive?
Anything and everything to create his hardship in life besides his health problem that he has to face?
Ridiculous...

For all your contributions and achievements, I salute you.
May you be reborn in a higher state.
Sadhu sadhu sadhu...


~Treasure what you have now. Don't mourn over it only when it is too late.~

not again...

Too common a scene...


... of my dresser~

That means I got myself in trouble again... boo~

Hah.. I'm ok.

Fish

There is a fish pond so you buy fish food to go feed.

~Tiffany Theorem~ =)


Did you mention there was fish there?
Wahahahahaahahhahahahaaa...


Btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING CHUNNIE!!!
생일 촉하해!!! MuaxxxMuaxxxx~~ ^^

Christien New

Just realised the guest speaker at the Co-op briefing was really a celebrity. The Beck of the Malaysian version of Posh-&-Beck!! *I could have rush over and haunt him for autograph... Have been losing my paparazzi sense lately...* I'd had known if his charming wife was there though ^^
Definitely the talk was a lot more lively than last time. Though Christien had a touch of humor, he is strict in his own way. The fact that he made all the latecomers join in the talk by a walk across the stage! And a handful of applauses~~!! No regrets for a 3-hour sit. Haha!

---

Honey, so glad that you are moving on with a positive mind. So lucky that you are still studying here, which I believe there are other ex-schoolmates and known people around. *Oh I feel lonely :( *
So glad that you are still with me. ^^
Gambateh!! It's a tough winding road ahead, but let it be one with colors. :)

helpless

How bad, to almost forgetting the marked schedule of the AGM. Ending up disrupting a movie plan and ffk-ing the crazy guy... sorry pal. :(

And how surprising, how shocked.
Never have I expected ending up in the committee itself. And obviously some people are not happy with the results. but not that I can help it. Why why why did I get chosen? I cannot reject the post, of course; it would definitely determine my future days in the university, and after. I don't know if I should decide to want it or not, not that I have a choice. No, there is the willingness to serve for the student chapter, but this adds the worry and side effects. The fact that transport and time are critical. The thousands of unsolved unhelped problems surfaced... I'm all messed up, all anxious, all scared.
左右为难，怎么办？

I will try my best. Please forgive me.

---

Helpless. Very.

I don't know how and why it started, but didn't expect it to come this far. Yes, it's too much, to the extend that it is adding to the stress I have already received.
I'd rather not have it, but for the sake of friends, I can sing along sometimes. Patience, ignorance. But now it's getting too over, or at least, I'm not in the favor of it.
Things are just simple. Friends are friends, all the same. Why should things be so complicated? I do hope it would not affect my life negatively. Especially after the fact that I have to face the faces, at campus, at home. At least, I wish there are little moments in the everyday life when I can revise and smile in the midst of rush hours or during work or reflect on before end a hectic day.

Please, let things return to normal.

三个星期

开学以来，
第一个星期，很闷，在家很显，要出门又没事做。
第二个星期，又开始打篮球啦，有一年没碰的篮球，有几年没比的赛。手脚很硬，没力，手软。
~丽云啊，我们的约会还在泡汤啊~
还有啊，又跌跌扭扭了几会，很衰。
有事儿做啦，心情总是紧绷着，有得拼命用手挥着。。。手更要断了~~
第三个星期，使该认真了该读书了。却好像也很废的过去了。然后又去唱k了，三个星期内唱了三次，没有酱geng，不过是我的纪录。哈~
就知道有个人会把很多工作往身上扛，所以自己也去鸡婆了。
更爱玩相机和捉弄人了。新的style，被视穿了,哈哈~
累了，也疯狂了。
疯狂得上课也在笑啊笑。还被老师blacklist了吧~
自己变了。也许不是变坏了，原来的我就是这样。只是变得更放肆了。就是不好啦。但就是对于书的朋友才会说的话。这样呢，到底是好事吗？
对于一些人，很抱歉，我没有资格。我也没想到会到这种地步。
不是故意忽略你，反正是左右为难，那不如让自己过得开心一点点。
很多事情，不知道的也终于确认了，反而让我不知说出的话是真是假。
而我，还是那么差劲，该说的还是说不出口。
结果，自己也是没两样。
该知道的，不该知道的；是真心的，还是故意说给我听的。
最讨厌的prejudice。好累。
想吐苦水，没落脚之处。更累。

认真点吧。再不自救就没办法了。

deadline

Today.

And I did it.
With very much lagging schedule, I was lucky the end product worked, except for the one LED that got on my nerves. I survived, with the bruises, but it's fine. Dangerously swaying pass the border of failure, thanks to the last minute fabrication works. :P

Not a perfect one, and could be much better that others could do, but it is still a record for me, a product in seven days.
And lots of thanks to all who helped me out here and there. COuldn't have survived without you!! haha~

Pretty tired. Auto-switched to sleep mode now.
I want a break. Can I? Plzzz...

X Alien @ PDN

PDN I'm back.

Finally after one year and eight months, I got to donate blood again.
And seriously, at PDN not because of the food! it's because there are the facilities and (I assume) the professionalism to treat special (or weird) People (a.k.a ALIENs!) like me.

And 'special' enough, my blood pressure was somewhat low, my blood flow was VERY slow. It took 20 minutes to collect 350ml of blood. Terrible huh?
And not to say, dad will quarantine me from PDN for some time, again.

And probably because of the lower blood pressure, I seldom sweat too even when I play sports. Hmmm...

Wat 'a...

How I missed the step, I don't know.
I just know how ugly it looked when hearing the aunty hurrying over and checking if I lost my arm or my head or not...
Thank goodness the laptop was safe... Haha~
Here comes the bruises again. Twice in less than a year's time. No rolling off this time.

Talking about drains, hah. People, don't drink from Hot/Cold Drains at the water filter!! They are called drains because they drain WASTE WATER!!!

As you wish

If I never asked, You will never tell.
Shall I say, I'm rather disappointed that you even denied.

But thanks for talking anyway.
And as you wish, I'll do what you requested.
Good luck to you. :)

Quiet Wesak

Happy Wesak to all.
Sadhu, sadhu, sadhu.





It's unexpectedly quiet for the occasion at the temple this year, With only about one third of the usual crowd.

But more beggars around.

Had my beloved vegetarian lunch :D



It's now packed in paper lunchbox, environmental :)

A mission unaccomplished. The blood donation center was full. Hmmm... There goes another 'next week'.

"Dhamma in Motion", the theme of this Wesak. A keen to return to the Dhamma.
To retrace the purer me I used to be, to advance deeper into the world of Dhamma.

Worldly life is rather tiring. Is it possible for me to renounce from it?
I doubt. For now.

A Lot of Nonsense

A lot of fuss
A lot of tears
A lot of people
A lot of money -
A lot of time
And all for what?
A lot of trouble
A little body!
A blob of protein
Fast unwinding,
A little corpse
Quick decaying.
No longer is it
Dear Father, mother
Or any darling other
In spite of this
We must have
Consolations and coffins
Processions and Tombstones
Parties and mourning
Rites and rituals
Buried or burnt
Embalmed forever,
All for these little
Bloated bodies.
Sons remember
Grandsons little,
And after them
are the dead forgotten,
Stones and bones alone remaining
So is this not
A lot of nonsense?

~Khantipalo~

Music-Man

Saw a hero in town last Saturday... not Ironman, spiderman or superman, but Music-man!!
Hahaha...



The concert was great, of course! The guitar "Bahamut" was awfully handsome~ It was really the sacred weapon :P
I lurv the lines at the opening.
"...心跳加速，喉咙沙哑，血脉喷胀，四肢无力。这些就是看MUSIC-MAN演唱会，会友的正常生理反应。..."
Halfway true though..hehe...



A significant part is LeeHom's band! Oh yea, 小王，小力，小宏 were all there!!



小力 was shy and had a really cute slang! ^^
How he actually brought them here, that caught the audience with many wonders.
Hmm... trick of pre-recording and great acting， I'd say.
Good job, Leehom!!

And oooh.. when he emerged with a lovely tune of violin~~~ all melted!!



A lil of "Wishing upon A Star" and a full song of "落叶归根"，how touching it was.
I still wish there were more of violin-ing.

The setup of the stage was unique as well. The huge screens focused on the super-hero.



Though it shouldn't be compared with the previous one, since the themes of the concerts are different, I still prefer the previous concert. Probably just a bit too much of video clips in between stressing of the other super-heros. Also a bit too much of tricks here and there, such as the 'magic' part as he disappeared in a box and appeared from the centre of the stadium. That was the 'accelerating' rap I was anticipating, but the speed was far lower. =(

And then, there was the restriction from taking photos （and thus the quality of the photos). I thought photographing without flash was allowed...?!

Overall, the show was worth the price. Especially those who get to get in close contact with Leehom~~ ^^
Too bad, not me.

转折点

开课了。好短的假期。有再回到岗位，想到那‘埋头苦干’的画面，还真可怕。
这学期有新挑战了，得更苦干了，唉~
有些为她担心，不想让她像我那么辛苦，担心她选错科。
是不是担心的太多了？应该对她有点信心。

已经成为事实，该面对了。Everything happens for a reason.
今天，希望我没说错什么话。也不知道你实说溜了嘴，还是故意让我知道的。
虽然我可以当作不关我的事，但我也曾经努力过，我也不想身边的人受挫（也许也不至于）。
也许那就是未来的事实，但也并不代表他们不好。
Indeed, they seem better.


谢谢大家，听我胡闹一轮。
minasan,加油啊！



And of course, congrates Dad & Mom.
Love you ^^

挣扎

脑袋感觉很空白。有点难以进入状况。
虽然自己的事情也有所预料的，也许自己忽略了很多，遗忘的更多。
感觉自己长大了，却更想活在过去。

回忆这东西，多是制造出来的，是自己经验累积的。
突然却很厌倦他，只能到给自己过去的快乐。
因为回不了的过去，也不能创造那回忆里的过去。

是该这样吗？需要那么悲观的看待吗？
曾经那感恩的心，那珍惜一切的理念都跑到哪儿去了？
什么时候变得那么严重性的追求物质上的享受了？

那么，快乐又是什么？
是达到目标后的快感，还是过程中的感受？
两者兼得很难，那该选择哪个？
现在的努力，是为了有个好前途。也就是为了好的未来铺个路。
可是到头来，这些也不都是物质享受的追求吗？

好乱。思绪，情绪，都很乱，很复杂。
好想静一静。。。

好久没有好好念一念佛学书了。
污染了的心境，渴望净化。。。

@Genting~

Finally set foot again at the highlands. And as usual, it's more boys than girls. :P

The Appetizers

A pretty rushing and weird schedule, which ended up Tiff and I waiting at my house for hours before another hour at the terminal and yet another one and a quarter hours at the Skyway station. hoohoo... We had a 'buffet dinner' of various pickles and snacks at a store there~

Photoholic! The camera in hand is the best medicine to cure boredom.
And thanks to Tiff and Wei for taking over the camera-person job sometimes. :)

Cable car!! I don't know why I like it (maybe because it brings me to Genting?!), and it's the first time going up at night.
It was cool!

My first time staying at the apartment block. Experienced the distance from it to the central of the little town, it wasn't as tiring as imagined. :)

And the cold winds that I miss the most...

Main Course
Two ultimate tasks. First, to enter the Casino legally!! (No, I never entered illegally~)

Our aim.. is to get the free drinks.. Haha~ I adore the lights and glamore inside, which was themed with different designs at various sections. And it was cool we had a guide.. it was Meng! :P Didn't know he was so knowledgeable with the place...hehe. And thank you a lot for the sponsor, though unfortunately lady luck wasn't with me.

The second task at Theme Park - Space Shot!!! Whooo... Been on a similar one in Taiwan, but not this. Jek and I have been longing for it the whole day!

The Space-Shot Squad :P



YEA~ MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!! :D (And TS's unbelieving look?!)

Side Dishes
Bowling! I've so longed for...

And the unforgetable vertical throw into the air by Tiff!! Whaahaha.. damn scary!! XD

Snookering and Pooling~



The most popular activity - Card games. Chor-dai-di.
It was there the first night,


The second night..


Even in the cable car...


And basketball shooting.
First night..

Second night..


Yumcha-ing
Old Town

Starbucks


Dessert

Lazy-ing around...


HH-ing...


And no, I'm not part of it. :P

---

The spoiler of the trip, is rain. The so many rides we have to forfit because of it.
But overall, it was more than just great. The circumstances, the dizzy head came visiting again as expected, but well, hopefully will be over in a few weeks.
And even more important, the people to go with. *Huge thanks to the guys for accommodating the two of the girls!*

We Are

Finally met up S Ying after almost a year.

So glad we could still chat like the first day we met. And how surprising that we could talk about those that I never talked about with anyone else. Thanks for lending an ear, thanks for your opinions.

It's a huge pity that we didn't meet up earlier. I do hope we will still be whom we are when we meet again.

All the best, friend. :)

World Water Day

The significant but seemingly unknown day. Water that makes the Earth special and blue, that gives life to living things and structure of everything else. How beautiful it is, yet many are taking for granted of it.
Oh, too much crapping~

Well probably what made the day more significant to me was it's relation to Rynn.. hehe. Attended the Tinge World Water Music Festival at BTS, where we were happily supplied with few bottles of free Tinge! No Rynn no Tinge... muahahahahaha~~



Anyway Rynn was there to perform, we were there to see him.





There were a few other artists, including Will Ng. Somehow the crowd was there mostly for Rynn (and Will), kinda pity the others that they didn't get much of audience reaction when they tried to make the show more 'lively'.. (err.. shaking too much?!)

Even more thrilled when knowing the autograph session was for the postcards and posters!! Hoohoo... and thus us with our loads on stage. A last-minute request and got my name beautifully signed on one of the posters :D Undoubtfully happy~~

And later, got to talk to him a bit (and rather idiotically) close up. He's getting rather skinny nowadays... worrying, I'd say? Sweet guy, told us (again) to take care when going home :)

Quite some time since we last saw him. While he keeps himself in his room wit his guitar, I hope he will eat more :P
Kinda miss the cute strong TieTou...


And people, love the Earth, save water!!