Crying over spilt milk.
You are so insane.
Bless you.
Damn...
Friday, July 24, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Option
It's the time of the life again, just like one last year.
Considering the fact that I do not need to go through as much trouble to get an internship job, while others might be on the verge of not getting one... it's somehow another different situation at my position.
Unsatisfactory of humans. Yet the fear of losing a good opportunity now or then... all over me. The fear of regret.
The toughest of all is to make the choice. And not regret over it.
The choice that would probably bring me back to my original plan.
Hope this is right. I'm very anxious, I'm afraid...
All messed up.
Yet I don't really have to be, It's just that I'm afraid to take the step forward.
And now, I must.
Any way has it's own conclusions... I persuade myself not to think too much.
And apologies to those whom I had hoped to assist... I'm very sorry, if my decision later is not in favor of you...
Considering the fact that I do not need to go through as much trouble to get an internship job, while others might be on the verge of not getting one... it's somehow another different situation at my position.
Unsatisfactory of humans. Yet the fear of losing a good opportunity now or then... all over me. The fear of regret.
The toughest of all is to make the choice. And not regret over it.
The choice that would probably bring me back to my original plan.
Hope this is right. I'm very anxious, I'm afraid...
All messed up.
Yet I don't really have to be, It's just that I'm afraid to take the step forward.
And now, I must.
Any way has it's own conclusions... I persuade myself not to think too much.
And apologies to those whom I had hoped to assist... I'm very sorry, if my decision later is not in favor of you...
Monday, July 13, 2009
Extreme
Grandma has been in town for one and a half weeks now. A good cause, not for a good reason though. Had some problems with the heart, and had just went through an operation. But the fact that the surgery took place before I realised it was already over! Hah.. I'm really lagging in knowing the modern medical world.
And therefore we've been having visitors.. relatives coming from north and south. And how dreadful it is having not able to spend time with them, thanks to the loads of work.
Had expected to meet this situation, especially now with 3 projects at hand and the endless assignments and studyings... the fact that I had cut out the TV time completely and sacrificing my sleep.
Hah... It feels terrible. To struggle to keep my eyes open and my brain awake and watch out on my steps to make sure I don't fall down anytime...
It's worse off when people expect 200% from you and yet you are witnessing them contributing only about 20%.
Much much worse when people think it's the other way round.
At this moment, I'd say, life sucks.
And therefore we've been having visitors.. relatives coming from north and south. And how dreadful it is having not able to spend time with them, thanks to the loads of work.
Had expected to meet this situation, especially now with 3 projects at hand and the endless assignments and studyings... the fact that I had cut out the TV time completely and sacrificing my sleep.
Hah... It feels terrible. To struggle to keep my eyes open and my brain awake and watch out on my steps to make sure I don't fall down anytime...
It's worse off when people expect 200% from you and yet you are witnessing them contributing only about 20%.
Much much worse when people think it's the other way round.
At this moment, I'd say, life sucks.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Non-Stop
当自己要崩溃了。
真的很想大喊大骂大哭。。。只为了发泄。
几度红了眼眶，只能告诉自己，要撑着，坚持多一点，反正都已经到了这个地步了，没得回头了。
说坚持，我真的能吗？很害怕哪一天真的倒下了，会怎么样呢？
要说好好安排时间，并不是做不到，只是时间真的不够用。报效了娱乐的时间，睡眠时间也更加短了。这几个星期，都是精神紧绷，几乎没有一天是能够真正放松心情，好好休息的。
这一切，是他们所看不到的。口口声声说，了解我的情况，可是，是否有曾经体谅过我的处境？非得要这样逼我吗？
对于那些光说不做的人，超反感的。偏偏现在遇到了几个版本的这类人物。看到你们逍遥的那副模样我就上火了。
我不介意多做一些，我也不是计较工作份量是否平分，可是难道在我已经忙得不可开交的时候，你不能分担一点吗？
也许吧，就在这种情况下才看得清一个人的面目。
为什么总是要我收拾烂摊子？很厌倦了。。。现在呢，难道连你们之间的事，也要我来解决？？你们三人的感情如何，我想我明白；我更清楚自己的地位，我没有必要去理会，反正 你 也不当我一回事。我想知道的，没有说，就算了。这种麻烦事儿，却像往我的口袋里塞。要命阿~ 我不想插手，解铃还需系铃人，让 你 去解决吧。。
真的很想大喊大骂大哭。。。只为了发泄。
几度红了眼眶，只能告诉自己，要撑着，坚持多一点，反正都已经到了这个地步了，没得回头了。
说坚持，我真的能吗？很害怕哪一天真的倒下了，会怎么样呢？
要说好好安排时间，并不是做不到，只是时间真的不够用。报效了娱乐的时间，睡眠时间也更加短了。这几个星期，都是精神紧绷，几乎没有一天是能够真正放松心情，好好休息的。
这一切，是他们所看不到的。口口声声说，了解我的情况，可是，是否有曾经体谅过我的处境？非得要这样逼我吗？
对于那些光说不做的人，超反感的。偏偏现在遇到了几个版本的这类人物。看到你们逍遥的那副模样我就上火了。
我不介意多做一些，我也不是计较工作份量是否平分，可是难道在我已经忙得不可开交的时候，你不能分担一点吗？
也许吧，就在这种情况下才看得清一个人的面目。
为什么总是要我收拾烂摊子？很厌倦了。。。现在呢，难道连你们之间的事，也要我来解决？？你们三人的感情如何，我想我明白；我更清楚自己的地位，我没有必要去理会，反正 你 也不当我一回事。我想知道的，没有说，就算了。这种麻烦事儿，却像往我的口袋里塞。要命阿~ 我不想插手，解铃还需系铃人，让 你 去解决吧。。
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